I have lived all my life this far with the belief that friends played no major a role in my life and that it was common for them to keep moving in and out of it. It was an illusion obviously, coz i've always had this fixed circle of friends right from schooling till my engineering. And so i never bothered wondering what i'd do without them. As far as i was concerned, i was perfectly capable of leading my own solitary existence and maybe even dreamed of living one. Funny how much my perspectives changed. Now that we've graduated from engg., everyone is branching off in different directions in search of their respective careers and suddenly this realization hits me hard, right across my face.
I realise how crippled i've become without those huge support systems i unconciously had, hidden deep somewhere in the crevices of my emotional well being. The blows never came all at once. One by one they all left and I've stayed behind. And its the ones who stay behind that feel it the most. And now i find myself dangling from just two threads one of whom would be severed when i'd leave for the US. And the other would also be too far away for comfort out there. Feels very weird to be in this current state of mind. I'm shocked at how much i thought bout them even without realising it. I feel bad that i never realised it while they were around. And also that sense of loneliness i feel everytime i feel that urge to have that cup of coffee at bombay chat, everytime i sit in the car while going out on some errands, everytime i think of all those discussions bout our futures, everytime theres a powercut at home and the phone doesn't ring, everytime i see that basketball lying around in my room. We would all meet, definitely, maybe 5 years down the line maybe more. But things mightn't feel the same. I would have learnt to cope up with this by then and probably our priorities would also have changed. I have had a very happy life so far thanks to all u guys. Ill try to keep it that way as long as i could.